Adoption Blog

While it's true that open adoption has become the trend in modern adoptions, it doesn't mean that it is right for every birthmother. Before choosing an open adoption it's important to understand it. Every open adoption is different, and your open adoption will be different from those you have heard or read about.

First things first. What is open adoption? Put simply, open adoption is the ongoing contact between birth and adoptive families after the adoption is finalized. Different levels of openness exist, and can be as little as annual letters or as much as in person visits. It is your choice as to how open you'd like your adoption to be.

The number one thing to remember is that an open adoption does not translate into co-parenting. The adoptive parents are the legal guardians of the child. You have no say (or right) in how the child is raised, disciplined or taken care of. This can be a difficult concept for birthmothers, as seeing or hearing from the adoptive family might make it feel like she is a part of the decision making.

Another thing to consider are the emotions tied to an open adoption. If you choose to partake in ongoing communication (such as phone calls, emails, letters, text messages, pictures or in person visits), will you be emotionally fit to handle it? Seeing your child will undoubtedly trigger many emotions. Of course, many of these feelings will be joyful - but others may include sadness.

Every adopted child will one day wonder about his/her adoption. Why were they placed for adoption? Who are their biological parents? Does his biological family love him? In an open adoption it is very possible that your child will one day come to you with these questions. While it is not something you need to prepare for during infancy, it might be something you are faced with down the line.

Open adoption offers many benefits. You get to choose and meet the adoptive family. You can meet, hold and perhaps even name your baby in the hospital. Open adoption also gives you the opportunity of knowing your child is being loved and well cared for.

We believe the benefits of an open adoption far out way the disadvantages. However, the decision is 100% yours. Closed adoption is always an option, and the caring staff at AdoptList will work with you to decide which decision is best for you. Contact us with any questions you may have about pregnancy or adoption.