- Category: Placing a Baby for Adoption
When you look back on your adoption plan years from now, you want to feel like you made the right choice. You can achieve this by thinking it over thoroughly, comparing your options, and talking to family, friends and adoption social workers. But what if you’re still unsure? What if your feelings change? What if things come up that you never expected?
It’s difficult to be 100% prepared to place your baby for adoption. But with the right guidance and support, you’ll be pretty close. Here are three things to know before placing your baby for adoption.
It Will be Emotional
Of course you know that placing your baby for adoption is going to be emotional. But what you may not know is how emotional. It’s easy to look into the future and think “it won’t be so bad.” And maybe it won’t be bad. It might even be wonderful. But the whirlwind of emotions that take place during the adoption process is something no one can ever fully anticipate. Some days are going to be hard. Some days are going to be easy. Some days will be painful. Other days won’t hurt as much. There may even be times when you change your mind completely. That’s okay. No one ever said adoption is easy.
The Pain Won’t Last Forever
After placement is when some birthmothers experience the deepest struggle. Grief, regret, loss and a longing for your child are all things you can expect to feel. That is completely normal. In fact, it would be atypical to not feel that way. Just like with a breakup or the loss of a loved one, time heals all things. Don’t expect to jump back into “normal life” right away. Ease back into the swing of things slowly. No matter how down you get, always remember that the pain won’t last forever. On the other side of the coin, there will also be times where you feel confident in your decision and know you did the right thing for your child. Consider joining a birthmother support group to discuss your story with others.
Every Adoption is Different
No adoption is perfect. You shouldn’t be disappointed if an adoption that you read or heard about turns out to be different from yours. Every adoption has ups and downs and bumps in the road. There will be things about your adoption that will break your heart. But there will also be things that will overwhelm you with joy. Sometimes when we perceive things a certain way, such as adoption, we are disappointed when our own experience turns out to be substantially different. Just because your adoption wasn’t exactly what you thought doesn’t mean it wasn't beautiful.
Adoption is a delicate process. It takes an emotional toll on birthmothers and adoptive families alike. Make sure to truly think about adoption before making a plan. We hope these tips help as you consider your adoption plan. Always feel free to contact us with any questions or even just to talk. We’re available 24/7.
