Dear Birthmom
Dear Birthmom
We know we haven’t met you yet, but we think a LOT about you. We wonder about who you are, what you’re like, and where you come from. We reflect on who you might want your child to become, your selflessness and intentionality, and the difficult decisions that come along with adoption. We think about the bond you have with your baby and our responsibility to protect that. We imagine how excited we’ll be to finally meet you and how much you will change all of our lives forever.
We’ve listened to family members who’ve chosen to share through adoption, have adopted, or have been adopted to put ourselves in your shoes. While that’s an impossible feat, it’s been helpful to think through what you might want to know about us and the kind of parents we’ll be. With that, let us be clear: You will always be a part of your child’s life. They’ll always know—and be proud of—who and where they come from. They’ll hear and feel the gratitude we have for you every day. We’ll fiercely protect your child and guarantee them every advantage. They’ll get to explore the world, learn what they’re capable of, and be given the space to be their authentic selves. Most importantly, they will know and appreciate that our love is an extension of your love, that they exist because YOU exist, and that we’re a family not because we chose them but because the two of you chose us.
We’ve listened to family members who’ve chosen to share through adoption, have adopted, or have been adopted to put ourselves in your shoes. While that’s an impossible feat, it’s been helpful to think through what you might want to know about us and the kind of parents we’ll be. With that, let us be clear: You will always be a part of your child’s life. They’ll always know—and be proud of—who and where they come from. They’ll hear and feel the gratitude we have for you every day. We’ll fiercely protect your child and guarantee them every advantage. They’ll get to explore the world, learn what they’re capable of, and be given the space to be their authentic selves. Most importantly, they will know and appreciate that our love is an extension of your love, that they exist because YOU exist, and that we’re a family not because we chose them but because the two of you chose us.
Our Story
Having caught the travel bug at an early age, Ryan chose to study out of state, settling on sunny Arizona. Grant was raised there, was teaching fifth grade, and had no intention of leaving. Little did we know! Unlike the fairy tales, it wasn’t love at first sight, at least not for both of us. Upon meeting, Grant fell head over heels, while Ryan took a bit longer to come around. After three canceled dates, Grant improvised a plan. Though he detested seafood, Grant gathered the courage (and appetite) to visit Ryan at work, a local sushi joint. With each forced-down bite, it became apparent that Grant hated fish, he was crushing hard, and he’d do anything for Ryan. Two years later, we tied the knot and moved to Montana. Now sixteen years have passed, and our lives continue to be filled with laughter, adventure, and even the occasional sushi roll.
Our Extended Family
Honestly, it’s hard to speak about our individual families separately as they’ve become one and the same. While each family has different traditions, backgrounds, and area codes, the love and support we experienced as kids was unconditional. We’ve always understood how fortunate we are to be fully accepted and celebrated by our respective families. In fact, we considered ourselves so lucky that neither of us anticipated we’d get this gift a second time. To be loved so readily by each other’s family—not just as in-laws but as sons, brothers, uncles, and nephews—is something we’ll never take for granted.
Grant’s fam is all over the map, ranging from three blocks away to the reaches of Alaska. While Grant’s parents and sisters are still in the desert, Montana is home to seven aunts and uncles, 14 cousins, 10 little ones, and another baby on the way!
Ryan’s family lives across the globe, from the U.S. and Japan to Australia and Dubai. Stateside, his people are spread throughout Missouri (his home state), Florida, Arizona, and D.C. That said, you’d never know it as we’re constantly planning reunions. What’s next? July camping and an overseas beach trip in October!
Grant’s fam is all over the map, ranging from three blocks away to the reaches of Alaska. While Grant’s parents and sisters are still in the desert, Montana is home to seven aunts and uncles, 14 cousins, 10 little ones, and another baby on the way!
Ryan’s family lives across the globe, from the U.S. and Japan to Australia and Dubai. Stateside, his people are spread throughout Missouri (his home state), Florida, Arizona, and D.C. That said, you’d never know it as we’re constantly planning reunions. What’s next? July camping and an overseas beach trip in October!
Our Home
Our home is a four-bedroom, two-bathroom home in a thriving mountain town. We’re mere hours from three national parks (Yellowstone’s our fave!) and are blessed to live in a place that visitors from all over the world dream of seeing. Our town is suburban and family oriented, has Montana’s #1 school district (boasting a 1:15 teacher ratio), and is among the “safest small cities” in the country. While generally unassuming, our community is hailed as One of America’s Coolest Towns, has ranked (and topped) numerous Top US Places to Live lists, and was named among the World’s Greatest Places by Time magazine. Beyond our pups, we have loads of family and friends nearby and work at family-centric companies that provide flexibility, support, and a top-notch daycare.
Our Journey to Adoption
We’re typically considered more of an “opposites attract” kind of couple, but our commitment to our values, community, and family are identical. Likewise, we both envisioned having children one day and agreed early on that adoption was the path for us. We also recognized this wasn’t just about us and we needed to accomplish three major milestones before building a family: grow our careers to provide them with every opportunity, settle down and redirect Ryan’s quest for adventure, and ensure our families are excited, supportive, and open armed. Well, we’re proud to report Grant’s a Director of HR, Ryan’s a Chief Executive, we’ve been in Montana for 10+ years, and our families are already cooking up ways to embrace, support, and welcome you both!
Fun Facts
About Ryan
Education
Bachelor’s in business
Favorite Hobby
Traveling and experiencing new things!
Favorite Sport
Soccer
Favorite Music Group
Leon Bridges
Favorite Subject in School
Art
Favorite Tradition
Biannual reunions
About Grant
Education
Master’s in education
Favorite Hobby
Home renovations
Favorite Sport
Do lawn games count? ;)
Favorite Music Group
Total Swiftie here!
Favorite Subject in School
Science
Favorite Tradition
Decorating for ALL the holidays!