Dear Birthmom

Dear Expectant Mother,

We are so grateful to you for considering us as parents for your child. We know this is a big decision for you and your family and want to thank you for taking this moment to get to know us.

Our dream for our children is that they will always feel safe, loved, hopeful, and happy. We want them to know how big and diverse the world is and that no matter how they choose to make their mark, they’ll be loved and supported by us. We want you to feel the same and know that we aren’t looking to erase or replace anyone. We have an infinite amount of love to give and would be happy to include you, and anyone else in your family, as part of ours in whatever way you are most comfortable with.

We are just a couple of dorks who enjoy doing life together. We crawl through homemade forts, use our stair slide, get drenched by the hose, and go to bed exhausted from all of the beautiful chaos. Every day we laugh together. Every day we tell each other we love one another. We give our children everything, knowing that they owe us nothing in return.

With love,
Carla (she/her) & David (he/him)

Our Story

We met online while Carla was attending Central Michigan University and David was serving overseas. We fell in love quickly and got married in 2009, after a year and a half of long distance. We’re opposites in a lot of ways, but our core values are the same and that works for us. David is extroverted and energetic. He loves Star Wars, gardening, jiu jitsu, the ocean, and connecting with his Hawaiian heritage. Carla is more shy and recharges her batteries by reading, watching documentaries, woodworking, and is currently learning Spanish. Our daughter, Phoenix (Nixie), was born in 2019, and her adoption was finalized that same year. She’s the light of our lives. Nixie is very curious, active, and kind. She loves playing her drum set, enjoys any sport or physical activity, is fascinated by tardigrades, knows her own adoption story, and keeps asking for a brother and/or sister. Because of David’s job with the military, our children will have full insurance coverage, free college if they want to go that route, and we are a single-income family that is debt-free. We are also fortunate that he is in a non-deploying job so we have plenty of family time.

 Our Extended Family

Carla grew up on a Christmas tree farm, in a smaller family with her parents and one older brother. Coming from a small town, she made close relationships she still has to this day. Many of those friends are now like family, and they have been such an important and appreciated group, especially after we all became parents around the same time.

David comes from a large family with four siblings, both parents, multiple aunts and uncles, and many cousins. Family is very important, both on his Hawaiian and Southern family sides. In his culture, to be adopted or “Hānai”, is to be loved and accepted by the community. The concept of “Ohana” is the family that is both biological and those who are held dear - this is why there are so many “aunties/uncles/cousins” who have no biological ties. David’s family is diverse and is filled with many loved ones who are a part of that “Hānai” connection.

Because of our time as foster parents and our adoption, we have a huge extended family we’ve created. We have great relationships with the parents of the children we took care of, some of whom we still get regular updates from. It’s a unique bond, and we’re very appreciative of it. While we currently reside in Hawaii, we are planning to return permanently to Michigan in a few years when David is able to retire from the military. Not only is it where Carla is from, it’s also where our daughter’s biological family resides. We would love to be as close as possible to the family we’re from and the family we’ve found.

 Our Home

Our house has three bedrooms, 2.5 baths, a fully fenced backyard with vegetable garden, living room, stair slide, and a play room. The front yard opens up to a neighborhood playground, dog park, and half basketball court. We go out front almost every day so that Nixie can play with the neighbor kids who vary from newborn up to twelve years old. Our neighborhood is very diverse and has many other parks within walking distance, as well as a splash pad, pool, community center, and a small shopping center. We have two dogs. Ogre is our old man - an American bulldog who has gone deaf in his old age and is on thyroid medicine. He was adopted at four years old from animal control and is the most loving and bomb-proof dog. Pip is a terrier-dachshund mix and is a year old. She is super playful but also enjoys curling up on our laps for a snuggle. We adopted her earlier this year from the local humane society. She has brought a lot of joy and energy and laughter to our home. If they are not cuddling together, Ogre can be found snoring in a patch of sunlight and Pip would be following our daughter around in the hope of dropped snacks.

 Our Journey to Adoption

Adoption was always part of our plan so that made it easier when we found out Carla needed to have a hysterectomy in 2014. We spent some time as foster parents before meeting our daughter, whom we met through mutual friends outside the foster care system. While we’re proud of our time as foster parents and still keep in touch with some of the parents whose children we looked after, we saw the immense pain the system caused and decided that we wanted to adopt in a way that was consensual.

 Fun Facts

About David

Education
Bachelor of Science in Business
Favorite Hobby
Martial arts
Favorite Sport
MMA
Favorite Subject in School
Marine biology
Favorite Tradition
Lei Day
Favorite Family Activity
Beach day

About Carla

Education
Bachelor of Science in Family Studies
Favorite Hobby
Woodworking
Favorite Sport
Dance
Favorite Subject in School
English
Favorite Tradition
Christmas tree cutting
Favorite Family Activity
Movie night

Contact David & Carla

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